Kelly’s Fight to Fitness – F**k the Machines

Food Glorious Food – Prep Glorious Prep

OK, so first week ON the wagon (again) and let the cravings begin (again). My body is still aware of something, something it knows it wants. It faintly remembers the highs of sugar and the pure joys of boozing. Mmmmmm wine.

Damn it…focus.

There are temptations everywhere.

AT HOME – I have gotten rid of anything I don’t need in the house, anything that during a weak moment you could hide in the bathroom and shovel it into your face (as quietly as possible so you don’t get caught). Hypothetically, obviously.

AT WORK – vending machines vs eating greens!

I’m not sure if everyone has the same type of vending machine that I have in work, but mine is one of those rude chatty ones, you know the type that shouts “eat me” every time you walk past.

Be Smarter than the Machine

However, man can be smarter than robot. I have found that the fuller I am, the quieter the robot is. This is the key. Never (just to be clear…NEVER EVER) let yourself get hungry and you will remain strong enough to beat the machine.

Greens over machines. Greens over machines. Say it with me.

I have done every diet under the sun:

The Juice Diet – sore stomach

The Akins – sore head

The Total Food Replacement – sore everything

I used to think that the hunger feeling meant it was working, to the point of being really proud that I lost my balance when getting up too fast and feeling a little light-headed.

‘Woohoo it’s really working now…size zero here I come.’

Yes, I was a moron but we live and learn!

The best lesson I have learnt so far is you actually need food and LOTS of it, to fuel your body to lose weight and also to feel powerful.

The fridge is packed full of my staples – salmon, prawns, chicken, turkey, eggs and anything from the veg aisle that is GREEN. Occasionally I’ve thrown in a red pepper to mix it up. What can I say? I’m a rebel.


I have discovered a new love.

The best part of all this training, dieting and what makes it all worth it…ladies and gentlemen…is TUPPERWARE! I love it.

Small, large and multiple compartments (excuse me while I have a ‘When Harry Met Sally‘ moment).

I organise my days of eating – I prep it, pack it and pull it out of the fridge when needed.

This has always helped me stay away from the inevitable ‘oh I’ll just pop into the supermarket and get some eggs”… somehow convincing myself on the way out a Creme Egg is the same thing.

I have learnt my triggers and motivators and knowing this is half the battle.


I am without a doubt a night-time prowler.

Just as we relax and pop on a boxset, I find myself wandering over to the fridge, hoping that the cheesecake fairy has been.


Surprisingly to me, the music channel is a great motivator. Now, this may have something to do with me being 29 (and 40+ months) but every video seems to be a toned and tanned female whispering to me “you want this body!”

My fave at the minute has got to be Kanye’s video to ‘Fade’ (feel free to mute him) with a warrior woman stomping around a gym with the best body I have ever seen.

However, I shall now watch this video only when in a good mental place, to elevate myself to a great mental place.

If you watch it on a downer you may want to go to dark place, open a bottle of wine and drown your sorrows because you’re a fatty, out of shape and never going to look like that; because you’re a human being and she is clearly some supreme being sent here to piss us all off.

You may then end up wanting to drink until you either forget you’re a chunk, or you couldn’t give a crap, because, yeah maybe I am a fatty, but I’m a happy fatty and a very drunk one. When was the last time she saw the bottom of a bottle of wine?

Yep…this week has been tough, I’m not going to lie.

The limbo-land between the happiness of eating and drinking whatever you want and the place where you feel so good you don’t want to ruin it…well, I’m currently in the middle residing in pissed-off-ville.

This wasn’t helped by all the PTs in the gym smelling of biscuits…due to fake tan needed for a photo shoot.

Yes, you all looked great…BUT DO YOU HAVE TO SMELL OF BISCUITS? IN A GYM?

So I shall leave you with those final uplifting and inspiring comments. You’re welcome.

Okay, okay…that’s not the spirit. I know.

But this isn’t easy, this is a struggle to the bitter end. Luckily, I am aware of it and I’m prepared for it.

So we shall put this week to bed and look forward to next week, feeling stronger and another step closer to goal.

Can you relate to Kelly’s story and need help staying on the right road? Get in touch today.

Go back to the the beginning of Kelly’s story.